On The Auditory Road

So I looked on Craigslist and managed to get a list from a bassist in a local band from Phoenix and only charged me $30 gas (which was fine by me) and we cruised along the desert on the interstate with nothing but numerous mountain and cacti to look at and good music to listen to; he even got me and a +1 on the guestlist for his bands gig that evening (they had previously toured with Paramore and Jimmy Eat World) but I didn’t end up going because my host was too tired and I didn’t want to go on my own.

I arrived in Phoenix about 11 in the morning and knew that my host wasn’t able to meet me until after school (she is a grad student) and so I had to entertain myself for a while. I soon realised there is absolutely nothing worth doing in downtown phoenix and made my way via light rail to Tempe, a small student town outside the city centre. I managed to buy myself some new shoes (purple canvas ones from Urban Outfitter [I am still living to regret this decision]) as my hiking books were pretty wrecked from big sur, stunk and I wasn’t doing anymore hiking.

I settled down for the afternoon and did nothing but wait for my lovely Russian host Irina to let me know she was finished for the day so I sat in the sun feeling smug with my new shoes and all the excitement that had preceded. Eventually my phone buzzed and I was ready to roll, I got out of the wonderful sun I’d been basking in and went to meet Irina (not known to me at this point in any way other than a few texts)

After walking back to her little studio flat in Tempe we talked a while about mathematics (for she is mathematician) as well as art and music. It was great simply because we both loved each other’s accents so it didn’t really matter what we said because it all sounded beautiful to each other. I was then introduced to Frank the orange monkey vegetable peeler and from then on were settled for the night.

After spending a quiet night (other than talking through the hole in the wall to Irina) a quiet day followed with her going to school and me catching up on a lot of work I should’ve done a long long time ago. I ran around her flat singing at the top of my voice and basically acting like a moron (all this unknown to her until now of course) and when she returned I was in a wonderful chilled out mood and we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I thought of my friend Siobhan from back home due to her Facebook tag.

This is it Joel. It’s going to be gone soon.
I know.
What do we do?
Enjoy it.

I slept sweetly that night, I didn’t dream of anything in particular but I’m sure I dreamed of something; nothing, however, could prepare me for the next day…

I was leaving Phoenix that day and was headed to Mexico by way of El Paso, I wanted to save a bit of money so I was going to hitch-hike instead of pay for the bus. I head out early to find myself some cardboard and marker pen to make myself a wonderful sign that said “TEXAS” had smiley faces and flowers all over it. I was full of joy and almost ran to the on ramp to the freeway… where it started to spit with rain…

I flew my sign for a good half hour to no avail what-so-ever and by now it was completely pissing it down (in the fucking desert!.) I had to walk well over a mile in the rain to get shelter, my lovely new purple shoes completely soaked therefore my feet completely soaked and my jeans the same, bad memories of Capitola came flooding back.

What the hell was such a torrential downpour doing in the desert?! I was most upset but waited it out until the rain wasn’t so bad and carried on walking. I walked for a good two miles flying my sign where I could but by now in a completely shit mood, I even made a new sign on the back saying “STUPID RAIN - PLEASE HELP” with a sad face and rainclouds this however did not help matters at all.

I finally got to another freeway on ramp and there was an In ‘N’ Out burger place right next to it and got myself some lunch. I got talking to an old couple who were sitting next to me and going a few miles down the road to the next town, I asked them for a lift and they said that was fine, the husband used to hitch hike when he was younger and knew how terrible it was trying to do it now.

After a short car journey there I was, next to a wal-mart and not much else, I was told if I walked about 2 miles south I would hit the main Freeway and would definitely get a lift there, I said thanks and started on my trek (still flying my sign at every car that came past)

I sang to myself for a good 2 hours (it was NOT 2 miles to the on ramp, in fact it turned out it was about 20 miles west) and let out the occasional scream when I realised I was in fact completely alone and could do anything and nobody would ever know,

I came across a fresh ‘n’ easy store which is American branch of Tesco, I went in to see if they had any of the same products, they didn’t really but they DID sell Cadburys Dairy Milk, I bought a medium sized bar and scoffed the lot in minutes, it was amazing I just sat and wondered where the hell I was going and whether or not it’d be another rainy day on the streets (it was still raining and rained for a good 20 hours.)

I decided to continue walking and eventually came across a little bit of desert I had to cross (wet desert makes for messy shoes and trousers) so I ended up pretty grotty and looking fairly trampy. I came to some train tracks and watched a slow moving freight train heading west and I was so close to just hopping on it and going back to anywhere other than here.

I finally got to the on ramp to a freeway, not the one I wanted but the stupid loop system that just goes around the Phoenix area but it was better than nothing… I thought. I waited there for 20 minutes, got told off by highway patrol for flying a sign in a “potentially dangerous area” I said very little and when I did I put on a bad stoner american accent then strutted off.

I came across another human being and asked where the nearest bus stop was, where it went to and whether I could get anywhere else from there. He showed me the bus stop over the road that went to ASU East and he said from there there were loads of connections that went all over the country, he was sure there was even a greyhound bus stop there.

I got the bus, the bald-headed lady bus driver let me on for free as i only had a $5 bill and the bus was only $1.25 and rode it all the way to East ASU, the bus driver also informed me the only bus that went from that place was the one I was currently on so I’d either have to stay there or get exactly the same bus back… I stayed on that b us for a good 1 and a half hours to some mall in the middle of nowhere, changed buses and in another hour I was back in Tempe…

I text Irina previously to ask if I could stay another night but got no reply but I walked back to her apartment and knocked anyway, I don’t think I’ve ever looked or felt so pathetic and she pitied me endlessly I’m sure. She let me in said of course I could stay another night and made me some mashed potato with veggies; I’m rarely as elated as I was that night. We sat down together and watched a really really bad french film called “Le Samurai” it apparently had a memorable Anti-Hero in it, it was just memorably shit. Irina however is infinitely adorable and I remember her with great fondness as I write this; she is now on her own adventure while she has a little break from school.

After another lovely sleep I awoke to Irina making breakfast, I ate together with her and Frank before getting a lift to the airport and making my way to the greyhound station where I’d simply get the bus to Mexico, I was disheartened with hitch-hiking for now. When I got to the airport I was told it was another mile and a half walk to the greyhound station so I trudged on in my still wet shoes and my now wet meet across ridiculous roads with no footpaths and finally arrived, I bought my ticket and was ready to head south into the mystical land of Mexico.