On The Auditory Road

The bus arrived as normal, I stepped on and was slightly frustrated by how many people were on there because when you’re taking such long bus journeys it’s always nice to be able to have two seats and live in your own little world for a while, not have to sit next to some random loon who wants to talk at you for God knows how many hours until they finally get off.

Somehow at the back of the bus there was a double seat free and I plonked my bum down on it and fell asleep until we got to Brenham, TX where a tall, skinny man with a baseball cap and teeth missing asked/said “anybody sitting here? cool man, cool, hey I’m Tony.” I shuffled up a little bit and let out a mumbled “Hey, I’m Adam.” For the next 30 minutes the predictable happened and my ear was talked off by this man who was just jabbering on about all and sundry until he finally stopped with “?Haha sorry man, I’m just so stoned,” to which I laughed and the whole situation made a lot more sense.

We actually had a proper two way conversation for the next couple of hours until we got to Houston where I had to change buses and he was getting off. He was a bails bondsman which means he loans money to people who need money for bail to get out of jail, he had lost one of his teeth because he had to chase someone who tried to get away with not paying, had to climb over a fence and when he got to the other side the man was waiting for him with a 2x4 and clocked him straight in the jaw, he never got his money.

Tony asked if I wanted to go for a smoke (not tobacco) and I did but my new bus was already boarding so I didn’t have time, he told me to wait one minute, he dug his hand into his band and pulled out a couple of buds and handed them to me in the middle of the terminal so there I was trying to board a bus with a handful of weed, smooth moves all round. I got on the bus (which was even more packed than the previous one!) and off we went.

The bus ride isn’t really worth talking about other than the amazing scenery, watching it change from endless Texan grass and fields to the more swampy, woody, wet, bayou lands of Louisiana. At a Popeye’s chicken store I ended up buying a meal for someone else (with there money they just wanted to queue jump) but I really couldn’t understand him or anybody else in the shop for that matter but I did the best I could.

On arriving in New Orleans I was absolutely shattered and it was about 8pm, not late exactly but it was pitch black and I didn’t know where I was going so I, having spent little money that day, treated myself to a taxi to take me to the address I had for the person I was staying with, I now wish I hadn’t bothered because it wasn’t there far or difficult to get to.

I had a brief conversation with my host (Jade) but she was going to a show that night and said it was ok for me to just stay in and sleep if that’s what I wanted. We smoked a bit of the tea I got from the Texan in Houston, she rode her bike to the punk show while I had an amazing sleep on the couch.

The next morning I hung around until Jade got up so we could discuss what was going to happen that day (St. Patrick’s Day) she had school but gave me a key to the house so I could do whatever I wanted. I had a shower and headed on down to the Irish Channel and at 11am bought a guiness and a pint of “green beer” which is basically just miller light with green food dye, what an adorable gimmick.

I spent the next 3 hours down there drinking to my hearts content and eating a big bucket of crawfish which was absolutely delicious! Such a hassle to eat but totally worth it. After filling my belly with 100 little crustaceans I headed down to the french quarter to see what further parties were happening.

I was trying to save some money so I bought some beer from an off license and walked around the streets; in New Orleans you are allowed to just drink anywhere on the streets, no open container laws or anything like that, you can simply drink what you want where you want and guess what? People do, lots of people do… I drank enough to feel sleep, headed on down to the Mississippi river and fell asleep on the rocks under the warming sun listening to the steam boats go by.

I was awoken by a girls voice saying “Is he okay? I think he’s wasting.” I didn’t respond to this but I was now awake, two girls climbed down the rocks to check if I was ok, which I was, they were significantly more drunk than I was! Nevertheless we talked for a good hour, hour and a half and there mum even came to say hello, they were 20 years old and in town for St. Patrick’s Day, their mum was happy to let them get as trashed as they wanted and smoke as much pot as they wanted (which she disagreed with but let them do anyway.)

I was given one of their numbers (Tayler’s [the other girl was called Danielle {the mum was called Tayler’s mum}]) and said we’d meet up later. I relaxed for a few more hours by the river side and they walked off.

After a couple of hours by myself another girl came to check if I was ok, her name was, well, I actually don’t remember her name or anybody’s name who was with her, I really wasn’t that interested. The group she was with were all about 16 and trying to get me to buy alcohol for them (subtly so I never had to actually say no.) I said my goodbyes to them pretty quickly and went to find the others again.

By about 8.30 pm I was back with the other girls and we were drinking Hand Grenades (some form of gimmicky cocktail) which was actually delicious. We wandered around for a little while, went to a gay bar and then were about to go back to their hotel room to smoke but the parade started. It was basically just a lot of “Irish” people giving beads and getting kisses on the cheek from any girl they thought was remotely attractive. The more confident of them gave out stickers but would only put them on girls breasts (smooooth) and yes, some girls are trampy and desperate enough to flash for beads, there really is no need though, I got a shit load from doing nothing.

We finally made it back to the hotel where the two girls tried to convince the mum to let them smoke in the bathroom, she was having none of it however so we had to go down to the carpark. We smoked for a little bit before getting interrupted by security, he didn’t actually do anything except move us on, he was probably jealous he didn’t have any weed.

This was pretty much the end of the day, I walked back the house I was staying at, a good couple of miles drunk and stoned, it was the end of a good day…

The next morning when I woke up Jade was busy again with work and so was her housemate so I went to enjoy myself in town again. I just want to make it clear both Jade and her house mate are lovely people they were just ridiculously busy with school and work and life in general. I went back to the french quarter and bought myself a “four loko” which is some kind of stupid canned alcoholic drink, it’s kind of Special Brew but stronger and mixed with fruit flavouring to hide the taste, it is actually ok and about 12% alcohol so one can which is a pint and a half is like drinking a bottle of wine.

After realising I was quite drunk at noon off this one can of drink I went into a restaurant/bar and bought myself gumbo, jumbalaya and a bloody mary. This was an amazing combination, I loved all three (I can’t believe I like bloody mary’s… and the gumbo was simply amazing, I am definitely going to cook gumbo when I return home.

I found one of the guys who was with the group I briefly hung around with the day before. He was a guy who lived in an abandoned building a couple of miles away and had been on the streets for the past 7 years. He was mildly insane, fairly dumb and a juggalo (not jiggalo, wiki it.) I spent a few hours with him, he bought some weed after selling a harmonica to a street musician. We smoked the weed together then went to watch another street musician who was also the guy he bought the weed from. He was a 35/40 year old black man who loved playing his guitar, I especially enjoyed his rendition of “family affair.” He had a sort of double act going on with some drunken man who i don’t think he really knew singing backing vocals but kept getting told to shut up because he was ruining his songs, ha, what a fool.

I returned back to the house fairly early that day, I was tired and had enough of all the days excitement (after smoking yet more weed with a semi-pro skateboarder who came to listen and a random passer by who tipped the musician with a blunt.) I talked to Jade and her boyfriend who a while and smoked yet more (damn, i sound like a pot head writing this.)

I had one more final sleep on that wonderfully comfortable couch (the arm rest was the perfect height as a pillow) and was excited about my 6.45am train to Atlanta, Georgia. I wasn’t, however, excited about my 5.30am alarm…